TOW All the Margaritas
by spunky-scully
Summary: Just how did Monica lose those pants? MC set during TOW at the beach, the beginning of 5 companion pieces. Please RR - Enjoy! :D


**TOW all the Margaritas**

Joey grinned, topless, as he moved his place along the board after rolling a coveted six.

"And that gives me five cool points, and I want Monica's pants." Monica sighed and rolled her eyes as Joey sat across from her, doing his best not to laugh.

"You know I'm wearing underwear, right Joey?" she answered.

"Who cares?" Joey declared. "Me, Ross and Chandler wanna see some leg!"

"Ew, dude!" Ross whined.

"Yeah 'dude'," Chandler continued. "That's his sister."

"Oh come on Chandler," Joey replied. "You know you wanna." Joey winked.

"Hey?" Rachel asked. "What's that supposed to mean."

"Yeah _Joey_!" Chandler added, glaring at his friend.

_I'm going to kill Joey if he lets slip about the dream. He just had to walk in, he just had to! I didn't even remember it till I finally got it out of him why he kept staring at me and asking ME how I was doing! I'm going to kill him – I wonder how strong these margaritas really are..._

Joey grinned for a moment before he realised what he'd almost done. His grin fell and he turned to look at Monica, shocked. Monica raised her eyebrows as Joey's frightened gaze darted between herself and Chandler.

"What is it Jo?" she asked.

"Uh, uh, nothing." Monica turned to Chandler. He was sitting right next to her.

"What's wrong with Joey?"

"Well..." Chandler thought, before shrugging. It was so obvious. "He's drunk."

"Yeah, I'm drunk," Joey conceded, nodding shamefully.

"Drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk-drunk!" Chandler yelled.

_After all, it was just a once off. Nobody had to know, it didn't mean anything, and it was probably so much better in my head anyway... Dammit, why do I keep thinking about it? Stop, stop right now!_

"You're screeching man, cut it out," Ross sighed, covering his ears.

"I think you're all drunk," Rachel declared, sitting back in her chair. "But as much as I'm confused, this is pretty fun. Hah, I think I'm drunk too! Can we finish getting Joey naked now?"

"Woohoo!" Phoebe cat-called. "Take it off! Take it all off!"

"Yeah I'm in," Monica sat forward, gathering up the dice and preparing to roll. Chandler stared, transfixed, at her neck.

_Oh man, I want to kiss it. Her. Wait no, it. No her. No Chandler, man, you can't. This is Monica, she'll probably like, disinfect it afterwards, and that won't do your track record any good. At least she didn't take off her pants-_

Joey stood, diverting everyone's attention and breaking Chandler's thoughts. He theatrically tipped his chair back behind him onto the sand.

"Ooooh Monica," he gasped loudly. Monica looked up at Joey, confused but with a smug smile on her face. Chandler smiled back automatically before catching himself.

_No, no, no, no, stop thinking about it, stop right now!_

"Uh, yeah Joey?" Joey pointed at her, and Monica pulled her neck back to regain some of her personal space as he leaned across the small table.

"Cheater!" he declared.

"What?" Monica laughed.

"You didn't take off your pants!"

"Ross is my brother."

"Yeah, Ross is her brother," Rachel supported, before leaning over to Phoebe and whispering. "So?"

"Yeah, yeah, so?" Joey continued. "He's seen you naked lotsa times!"

"Joey!" Ross exclaimed.

"What, you have, haven't you?"

"Yeah, when she was a baby!" Ross answered, before turning very seriously to the girls. "And really I don't remember that, not at all, I was just a baby myself." Monica nodded and rolled her eyes, not caring. "But you know you are cheating."

"What?" Monica exclaimed. "I am not!"

"Yeah, you gotta take off your pants."

"Come on Monica, you're wearing way more than a bathing suit, and we're at the beach," Phoebe reasoned. "We've all seen you in a bathing suit before. Here, have another drink." She pushed her half-empty glass over to Monica, who crinkled her nose disdainfully.

"I took off my pants!" Joey added. "And now I got sand all over-"

"Joey!" Rachel interrupted. "We don't wanna know."

"But, but-" Joey was cut off when he realised Monica and Ross were doing that weird staring each other out brother-sister thing they did.

"Fine," Monica declared after the silent conversation, reaching down to unzip her jeans.

"Well you gotta stand up and show us!"

"Please don't," Ross stated.

"No way," Monica shook her head. "It's called Strip Happy Days, not Stand then Strip Happy Days." She pushed her chair back to get some more room, and then shifted a little before leaning over and pulling her pants down her legs, throwing them high over her shoulder and settling back into her chair. Chandler unconsciously turned to face Monica instead of the table, sneaking a glance at her bare legs, covered by the hem of her oversized shirt.

_Dear God it's better. Don't look Chandler, do not look. _

"My roll," she stated, before turning to Ross. "And I'm not a cheater!"

"Man, chicks are so clever."

"Why's that Jo?" Chandler asked, grateful for the distraction.

"She took her pants off without standing up!" Everyone at the table turned to stare incredulously at Joey. In the meantime, Monica rolled and moved across the board, before picking up a card.

"Oh Joey," she sung cheerfully. "I'd like your pants now."

"What?" Joey whinged.

"Sucker," Rachel laughed.

"Can't you take off your top next?"

"You gotta get five more cool points for that man," Ross said.

"Chandler's got four. He only needs one more!" Joey continued, taking off his pants. "Can't I just give him my one point, then we can have five, then we can both make Monica take off her top!"

"Oh my God," Rachel laughed. "This is hilarious."

"You're just jealous cos nobody wants you to take yours off," Ross teased. Rachel poked her tongue out playfully.

"Well I'm a little jealous," Phoebe cut in. "When can I take my top off?"

"Hey I won't say no," Joey answered. "It's just that..."

"What Joey, you think Ross' little sister is hotter than us?" Rachel teased. Joey looked nervously at Ross, who glared at him.

"No man your ex girlfriend is way hotter!"

"Hey!" Monica sulked.

"Hey!" Phoebe exclaimed. She was hotter than Rachel, dammit, but she could see why Ross wouldn't think so. It was Ross!

"It's all Chandler," Joey had continued.

"O-o-w-what?" Ross asked, looking at Chandler. "You think my sister is hot?"

_Oh Dear God. Yes, all right? YEEEEEEES!_

"What Ross, you don't think I am?" Monica challenged leaning across the table. "You think I'm ugly?"

"What? No, no, no I do not," Ross covered.

"You don't think I'm hot?" Monica asked incredulously.

_Oh yeah. She's a little drunk too. _

"No!" Ross stated.

"Ross!" Monica exclaimed.

"You see, if I was your boyfriend I would've stepped in by now," Chandler interrupted. Monica grinned at him.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, and I never, ever, would've let you take off your pants." Monica paused and gave Chandler time to realise what he said.

"How on earth does that help you?"

_You WENUS, now look what you did? Say something clever Chandler, say something charming. Yeah right. From now on, no more clever and no more charming!_

"I don't know." Everyone laughed but Monica and Chandler. Monica smiled at Chandler kindly. Reaching out, she rested a hand on top of his and patted it a couple of times.

_He looks sort of sad. Guess everyone laughing at you must get to be a bummer. I know what will make him smile!_

"There, there," she said. "I wouldn't have let you take yours off either."

"Oh ha-ha," Chandler sighed as Monica laughed.

_There it is: a tiny smile. Yes!_

They continued on with the game, and soon enough Chandler got his fifth cool point.

"Yeah!" Joey yelled. "I wanna see Monica naked." Chandler glanced at Monica warily. Monica narrowed her eyes, playfully challenging Chandler.

_Go ahead, make me take off my top. You won't have to ask twice… Woah, what's going on here? Too many margaritas, Monica. Oh screw it, I want another one. Not like I haven't seen him staring at my legs. Even though it's Chandler, it feels kind of...exciting. If Rachel is going to spend all weekend flirting with Ross, then it's only fair. _

"Hmm...I don't think I really feel like that..." Chandler was continuing, oblivious to Monica's inner thoughts.

"You don't feel like what? Straight?" Joey asked. Chandler screwed up his nose.

"Narr," he said. "I think I'll just take my watch off and we'll call it even."

_As much as I want to see the real thing, I've seen enough already. I'll never forget the time she kissed Rachel. Woah. And I saw her in that towel one time, held her oh hell, lots of times, and little dresses she wears on dates that doesn't leave much to the imagination, not that I imagine anything cos she's Ross' sister...not every time anyway...I wonder if it'd be better in real life...Probably not, I guess. Move on, man. It was JUST a dream. Oh, but the bathing suit isn't. I hope it's not raining tomorrow. _

"You don't have to do that," Monica cut in without thinking.

_Oh no, did I just offer to take my top off out loud? Crap! I don't want Ross or Joey to see me in just my underwear while we're all...not sober. Or Chandler. Of course, it's not like I'd forget about him or anything. I don't want him to see me in my underwear either. My sexy, red swimsuit though...hmm...that could be fun if he keeps up this boyfriend thing. I hate rain._

"Yeah I do. See, I'm such a good boyfriend," Chandler replied, sliding his watch off onto the table.

"I didn't think you could strip yourself," Rachel said to Ross. He shrugged.

"Kinda selfish of you Chandler, keeping me all to yourself like that," Monica teased. Chandler laughed.

"You don't know what you're missing," he answered.

_No, I guess I really don't...This is fun though, don't stop cos I'm playing hard to get._

_Not that you care, anyway. Talk about out of my league._

"I know what you're missing Mon," Joey cut into their thoughts. "A gay old time with your gay friend Chandler-gay who takes his watch off when we could all be staring at a topless chick by now!" he huffed, grabbing the dice.

"Dude!" Ross exclaimed.

"I'm wearing underwear!" Monica insisted. "I'm not topless under here!"

"You're not acting like it!" Joey answered. "I think she's bluffing. Prove it. Lemme see, or if you don't want to, let Chandler check. He's right there."

"Joey, ewwwwww," Rachel added.

"I dunno, if I hadn't seen them in the shower last week I'd take a peek," Phoebe replied. Everyone stared at her as she smiled.

"I'm not falling for that again," Joey insisted, determined not to be proved wrong and stupid once again. "Give me these, I'll show you." He rolled the dice and picked up his card. When everyone saw the scowl on his face, Chandler leaned across and read over his shoulder.

"Aw, lose a turn. Harsh."

"Woohoo my turn!" Rachel rolled. She was close to five cool points, and she knew just what she wanted. Joey's boxers. He was gonna pay for making them play this stupid game.

#&#

"But you will always be the guy who peed on me," Monica smiled, removing her hand from the table after Chandler had removed his from her grasp.

Chandler rested his forehead on the dining table in Monica's kitchen and groaned.

"I still can't believe I did that."

"Come on," Monica laughed. "I would've done the same for you."

"Oh, that makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside!" Chandler scowled, lifting his head up so Monica could see his expression.

"Well if you hate that you did it so much, why'd you do it?"

"Cos...because, you were in pain and...I didn't want you to be all right? I wasn't lying to the guys. I don't like seeing you, I mean any of my friends in pain, we had to…do…something." Monica smirked.

"Well for what it's worth, thankyou. I know you care, even if you have a weird way of showing it." Monica laughed as Chandler groaned.

"And we shall never ever speak of this again, even though we've said this before and yet here we are."

"That is correct," Monica nodded. "Pity though," she added before she went to her room.

"Why?"

"You were really starting to win me over."

"Funny!" Chandler exclaimed sourly as Monica laughed. He stood and she came back over, pulling him into an affectionate hug.

"I'm just kidding Chandler, you could never win me over, but you can make a girl feel pretty special, you know?"

Chandler sighed, nevertheless hugging her a little tighter as Monica squeezed his waist reassuringly.

_I can never win her over. Plain and simple, straight from between her perfect lips. Not a chance buddy, time to give it up. _

"See you downstairs in a bit?" Monica asked, pulling back and offering her hand. Chandler nodded, swiping his hand against hers, their own high-five-handshake they'd had since what seemed like forever.

"You got it," Chandler smiled as she turned from him, absent-mindedly fixing the coffee table magazines, probably alphabetizing them, waiting for him to leave.

_I guess this is much better, this friend thing, I can live with this. I'd only get hurt again. I'd ruin everything with the 'clever' and the 'charming' and then I'd never see her again. That would suck. She's my best friend who also happens to be a woman. That just doesn't come along every day. I don't have to be so macho, it's not like hanging out with Joey or Ross it's just normal and...and fun. No, I can't ruin it. I'd find a way to screw it up, just like all the others. All four of them. No wonder she'll only let me pee on her when she's in pain...Wait, when else would she let you, you jerk? Yuck. Oh man, I need coffee. Coffee and a cold, cold shower! But first I guess...I'm too scared to say it back out loud but I wanted to and I hope you know...I love you too Mon. All right now it's time to go. _

Monica turned back to the living room as she heard Chandler pull the door shut before heading to her own room.

_He's even cuter when I'm sober, dammit, but it's not going to happen. What was I thinking? It'd never work. I'm not going to get that drunk ever again. No more drinking, and no more stripping. Haha, that sounds kinda naughty. Naughty Monica. Oh, stop it Mon. You know you are though. Yeah...but Chandler doesn't... and he never, ever will... but what if I want him to? Oh man, now I want coffee! And I want to clean. I want to defrost the freezer. No, first, a cold shower, then coffee. I can clean later. I hope Chandler's still at Central Perk when I get there. Maybe we can hang out tonight, grab a movie, cuddle up on the couch with some popcorn... Just like always. That'd be nice. After all, he's my best friend who also happens to be a great guy. How often does that happen? I'm so lucky. I can't believe he peed on me! Eww, shower time!_


End file.
